Deployments are no joke. If you haven’t been through one, it’s legit the worst emotional rollercoaster you’ve ever gone on, and if you HAVE gone through one, you completely understand.

I usually do really well by myself, but this time is completely different. I moved back in with my parents to save money, which in the long run, is the best thing ever for us. But seeing my stuff packed up is absolutely heart wrenching. I don’t want to unpack EVERYTHING, because I don’t want to feel like I’m here forever… but I hate seeing the boxes. We eloped, so we had NOTHING when we got married. Zero. No bridal shower. No wedding gifts. Everything we have, we worked for and obtained ourselves. And now everything is packed away. I break down all the time. I try to only send positive emails, and keep my crying limited when I AM able to talk to him in ports, because I don’t want him to feel bad. I can’t imagine if the roles were reversed, how I’d feel seeing my significant other crying because of our life and how I wouldn’t be able to help them from so far away.

But today I absolutely snapped and felt like I needed to be honest about my feelings while I was able to talk to him. I just started crying on skype with him about how I need him back and I want to go home (which made no sense to him, since we no longer have a place together, but obviously made sense to me).

So I decided to take advantage of the resources provided to all of us, for free: I went to militaryonesource.com and requested online counseling (just easier for my schedule, but also easier for me to be 100% honest with whatever counselor I have). For whoever isn’t familiar with militaryonesource, you can get up to 12 counseling sessions, per issue, per counselor, ABSOLUTELY FREE.

When I went to my first college, I did a whole ten page paper on military wives and mental illnesses, focusing on anxiety and depression (which should have been a huge HELLO WHAT ARE YOU DOING when I got married to a sailor 4 years later) and how most wives DON’T reach out for help. 

Honestly, DO IT. Even if you don’t think you need it, it’s great to keep your sanity and make sure you’re coping how you should be. No matter how strong you feel like you are, or usually are, most people need help at SOME point in their life. This just happens to be mine. 

sixwordlovestory:

We didn’t wait, but no regrets.

SO MUCH OF THIS! Yay eloping.

Definitely what I’m like when Garrett is deployed!

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1) Sorry I’ve been so absent. Between the move and school starting again, life has been crazy.

2) Some of you may remember my previous post on matching tattoos/tattoos with spouses. The only things I could remotely think about getting tattooed that related to my husband were navy related, superman (ew), and music (but I already have a treble clef tat). So I saw this on pinterest, and FELL. IN. LOVE. 

Instead of getting something purely dedicated to HIM, I thought this would be a great tribute to our marriage. I’d get it on my left wrist. I’ve done a lot of research on white ink tattoos as well. My favorite is that apparently they show up better on paler skin… which… hi… I’m ginger… that’s PERFECT! One thing that DOES worry me is that I’ve heard the artist can’t do the stencil first… because the ink from that will mix with the white. Any tattoo done freehand worries me, no matter HOW professional they are. 

Thoughts on this?

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Moving has been a bitch…. But I’ll be back and active soon =] love you all!

So we bought this 96 Acura Integra last spring for Garrett to putz around in when we were broke. I MAYYYY have found someone to buy it this week!!! Which would be excellent… because I don’t want to take it with me when I move. I want this thing GONEEEE. YAY! And that would be an extra $500! Which would also be excellent… because I just found out BAH doesn’t change if I move out of the county. Stupid.

But I’m feeling both REALLY GOOD about what I’ve gotten done today (as far as cleaning and working out) and REALLY BAD about my gut.

SOOOO..

INBOX ME AN EXERCISE AND I WILL DO ANY AND ALL OF THEM!!! Unless it’s running… in which case… fuck you… it’s cold in Connecticut!

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I’m sorry, this is ONLY okay in the beginning stages of dating. After that… you try not to breathe on each other in the morning because it’s too gross. TRUE LIFE.

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